Trying to lose weight is what’s making you gain weight

I wrote a WhatsApp the other day to some colleagues, to share what I’m working on at the moment. I wrote it from the heart, and accidentally articulated what it is that I really care about:

I’m on a mission to help people to make changes to their health behaviour in a sustainable way. I believe that the emphasis on weight loss and appearance goals is actually what’s causing us to “fail”, by creating changes that are unsustainable and often self-deprecating. I’m working to build solutions which are both flexible around busy lives, and grounded in self-love and enjoyment, not punishment.

That bit about weight loss goals causing us to fail really feels at the heart of it for me. I genuinely believe that in trying to get people to be healthier by losing weight, we’re actually creating changes that people just can’t stick to.

It feels like a hard sell to say that I’ll help people feel better in their bodies, but I won’t help them to lose weight. So why do I feel this way so strongly, and what’s the answer?

Why weight loss is an unhelpful goal

Weight loss as a goal is ultimately quite short term. There’s good evidence that losing weight in the short-term is achievable for many people - often with restrictive diets and/or pretty extreme levels of exercise. However, there’s also a huge amount of evidence to suggest that most people simply can’t sustain these lower weights for the long-term. This is because the changes people need to make to get there are often really hard to sustain - because they’re not enjoyable, make you hungry and tired, and can often interfere with your social or work life (anyone else said no to a social event to make sure they can get up for a run the following day? 🙋🏻‍♀️). Combine this with motivation waning once the weight is lost, and people often revert to old habits.

People often believe that this is a matter of willpower - people feel like they’ve “failed” at self-control, after “being good” for so long. But it’s really not the case: it’s your body trying to protect you. Some scientists believe that your body has a “set-point weight” which feels safe and nourishing, and your body will always be seeking to get you back to that. It's driven mostly by your genetics, and the environment around you. It does this by changing your metabolism, and changing the levels of hormones in your body, to make you feel more hungry and less satisfied when you eat (the same hormones that GLP-1s like Ozempic and Mounjaro target). There’s a great piece here if you want to read more about this.

So this might seem like a futile goal, right? Should we therefore all just eat chips and sit on the sofa for the rest of our lives? I mean firstly, if you feel you need that right now - do it (often after restricting and dieting a lot, we need to bounce back and feed our bodies!). But ultimately, it’s about working to accept our bodies, and focussing on looking after it in ways that don’t focus on weight loss. Bodies are all different shapes and sizes, and they naturally change over time. I know that it can be so difficult to feel happy with your body when it’s bigger than you’d like it to be - but I promise, there is stuff you can do to work towards feeling good in your body right now. 

When we come at eating and movement goals from a place of taking care of our bodies and thinking about how to be happy, it becomes much easier to make changes that are not only more enjoyable, but also that last. But if we’re not aiming to lose weight, what are we working towards?

Values-based goals

Instead of thinking about how we look, it’s can help to focus on the things that are deeply important to us. We can think about our values - the things we hold most dear, the things that are huge priorities to us. It might be being a good parent or friend, fairness and equality, being expert in something, learning and satisfying curiosity, or getting creative. If you want some guidance on working out what your values are, I’ve produced a handy exercise here (free to access for subscribers, just make sure you’re logged in!)

Once you know your values, you can then think about health goals which might support those values, and then activities that support those goals. For example:

We can also think about the more immediate benefits we see from making changes - such as reduced stress, having more energy, or feeling less bloated (I talked about that in this previous post)

You can see how these goals might be a little more rewarding long-lasting than getting down to a specific number on the scales!

I’m not saying that you won’t lose weight when you make positive changes for your health. I am saying that if you put the weight loss goals to one side, even for now, you might find that you approaches changes in an entirely different way: one that’s more enjoyable, more sustainable, and supports your whole wellbeing (not just helps you to fit into smaller jeans!)

Still can’t let go of wanting to be smaller?

In my next post I’ll be sharing some tips from my own experience of working on accepting my body as it is (subscribe to make sure you don’t miss it!)